March 16th, 2011


Title:  It's a Pantomime
Author:  iantosdreamer46
Rating:  R
Characters/pairings:  Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Tosh
Summary:  The team are going hunting for Vondrax and having a ball!.
Warnings:  Some adult themes.

Disclaimer:  I own none of the characters, I just like to experiment from time to time.


Jack and Owen had just arrived back at the hub from a pointless visit to the City Hall. Owen was particularly annoyed as he’d missed out, to quote in only the way Owen would, an extremely hot date with a hot young woman he met last night. He was muttering to himself as he barged past Gwen.

“What’s eating our medic then Jack?”

“Oh the rift activity that we’ve just been to investigate turned out to be nothing but a CB radio enthusiast trying to contact outer space, and he’s miffed that it wasted our time.”

“But why the City Hall?”

“He thought that if he got high enough he would be able to contact flying aliens. Owen had a date with someone he met in the pub last night and now he’s missed the meeting time. He is trying to get there before she leaves and thinks he’s stood her up.”

Gwen laughed at the thought of Owen standing someone up. In all the time she’d worked with him she’d never known him to be late for a date. And if he wasn’t careful he’d get a speeding ticket on the way to the pub.

“Tosh, next time the rift wakes us up, let’s just make sure it’s the real thing, I’m getting fed up with false alarms.”

“Sorry Jack, but it looked genuine enough on the monitors. I’ll double check next time.”

“Thanks, Tosh. Hey I’m not having a go at you, it’s just one time if we go on a false alarm there could be a real threat from something. Do you see what I mean?”

“Yeah Jack, and I know you’re not having a go. Oh by the way Ianto says to go down to the archives when you get back he has something to show you!”

“Mmmm wonder what that could be? Last time we were down there….well you don’t want to know what we were doing.”

“That’s ok, if I wanted to know I’d just look at the CCTV footage we have!”

Jack smiled at her and winked. He knew the cameras monitored everything that went on inside the hub. Ianto had come across one of the recordings by accident and blushed when he told Jack what they’d been doing on the autopsy table.

Jack found his lover down in the archives and went up behind him putting his arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck, just nipping the skin enough to leave a red mark.

“Mmmm hi Jack, it’s about time you got back.”

“How did you know it was me? It may have been Owen!”

“Oh yeah, right. I can just see Owen kissing and nipping me like that. If he did I would be very worried.”

“What’s so important that you demanded my presence? I don’t mind, I can think of a few things that we haven’t tried yet.”

“That’s gonna have to wait cariad, I’ve just found some interesting information that I think we need to be wary of and be ready to act on it when it happens.”

“I love it when you are so serious” whispered Jack as he kissed him again. His arms still wrapped lovingly around his waist.

“Listen Jack, I’ve found this report this morning. I think you should read it.” Ianto turned in Jack’s arms and handed him the report.

Looking it over Jack’s face became serious and when he’d finished reading he shook his head in dismay.

“I don’t know how I missed this Yan, I was sure we’d seen the last of them for a while. How did you stumble on it?”

“I was re-organising the filing cabinets and it was stuffed at the back of the V section. It looked as though it was important so I began reading and now in a way wish I hadn’t.”

“I’m pleased you did at least now we can anticipate their arrival and sort them out before they do any serious damage.”

“How’re we going to do that? How do we even know where they’re going to appear? It’s not like they’ve left us an invitation to go and meet them. Anyway where have you been, I looked for you earlier, I needed some help down here and thought you might like to catch up on the work we started last week.” Ianto smiled at Jack, knowing full well his Captain knew what sort of work they were doing in the archives.

“Owen and I have just come back from City Hall.We had our regular alien hunter on top of the building today looking for any life. We sent him on his way again, but that’s the third time in as many days that he’s been up there. I wonder if maybe he has found something and we’re not taking him seriously enough. Tosh has monitored rift activity in that area on each of the occasions and maybe our friends here are the ones that are causing it? On the other matter of the work we began last week, as soon as the rest of them have gone home I’ll be back to help you, in fact I think it’s my turn to show you a new way of filing things down here.”

Jack put the folder on the desk and drew Ianto into an embrace that told his young lover he wanted him more than anything. Ianto, feeling Jack’s hardness put his arms around his waist and let his Captain know that he wanted him too. He kissed him lightly, but with his own and Jacks arousal the kisses were soon heating up. Their tongues found each others and danced, each taking the lead from the other in their dance of love.

Pulling apart Jack looked at Ianto and grinned. “We’ll carry this filing on later my love. First we have to sort out what to do about our imminent visitors. I’ll go and speak to Tosh see if she can pin point anything more definite in the rift activity.”

“I’ll see if there’s anything more in the files down here to let us know when they’re likely to appear. And Jack…..”


“I’ll hold you to that spot of filing later.”

Jack made his way back up to the others, noticing that Owen was sat dejectedly at his workstation. He didn’t want to ask what was wrong with him, he had a good idea that he’d been rejected for being late for his hot date. Smiling to himself he made a mental note to speak to Owen later and try to make it up to him.

Tosh was busy concentrating on her monitor that she didn’t hear Jack appear behind her.

“What have we got Tosh?”

“Um, oh sorry Jack, didn’t hear you there, I’m a bit worried about this spike here, it’s not really something I’ve seen before. I was just about to call you, but I noticed that you were busy with Ianto in archives!”

“Just remind me to turn off the cameras down there next time, I’d rather not have our work down there the object of everyone’s discussion. But that’ll have to wait until later, what’s wrong?”

“Just that I don’t understand this spike here, I’ve not seen it before, it’s different to anything I’ve seen for a long time. About the cameras down in the archives, I’d rather you didn’t switch them off, I would hate for us to miss something important and anyway you could always erase the information on the discs if you didn’t want us to see what work you two get up to! Besides it’d be good to create a memory disc in case you two forget what you’ve done!”

“Erm, Tosh, we won’t be forgetting for a long time, we have to make sure everything is perfect down there, but maybe we could use the information when we have a quiet night in!” Jack grinned and winked at Tosh. She knew what he meant by a quiet night in.

“Ok, I’ll keep it filed in a safe place, just let me know when you want that quiet night in. Can we get back to the rift spike please, I’m beginning to get worried. I thought I’d read it wrong with our friend on the roof but now I’m not so sure.”

“After what Ianto’s just shown me I’m beginning to think our friend had something. Right I want you to go back over the records of rift activity for the last two weeks and let me know what you find. Even if you think they’re not important, let me know.”

“Ok Jack, who or what do you think is doing this?”

“I encountered an alien called Vondrax a few years ago and they promised me they wouldn’t come back. They’re not the nicest of creatures to meet, they can change shape to fit in with whichever planet they visit. If it is them, then people will be disappearing at a fast rate. They only have to look at someone to kill them. The last time I encountered them I was lucky they didn’t have any effect on me, quite the reverse in fact. When they looked at me, whatever it is that’s made me the way I am, had the reverse effect on them, they died. So I really don’t want anyone coming into contact with them again.”

“They sound great, and yes Jack, I’m being sarcastic. What can we do to get rid of them before they do any real damage?”

“Well, if they’re concentrating on the area around City Hall that may not be too difficult to contain.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I know they feed on tachyon radiation and you mentioned that there was evidence of that around the City Hall and Alexandra Gardens area last week. If I’d have been thinking straight I should have realised, but it’s a long time since I saw them. Ianto has just found a file that somehow got hidden. He noticed that it mentioned they seem to come back every 20 years or so and I do believe that time is fast approaching. If it is centred around the City Hall then they will have a veritable feast at the weekend.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well earlier today when Owen and I were at the Hall I noticed a poster advertising this year’s charity ball.”

“Is there anything we can do to stop the ball going ahead?”

“No, and I wouldn’t want to. It’s a charity ball for Ty Hafan, a Children’s Hospice in Sully. If the Vondrax are true to their word then I believe they will pay the ball a visit.I know the person who is organising it and I think I could get us an invite. The only problem isit’s fancy dress.”

“I remember the last fancy dress ball we went to on New Year’s Eve. Owen was not happy with his costume you chose for him.”

“I remember but Yan looked so hot in his, and you all looked great in what you had on. I wouldn’t get the same so I don’t think Owen would mind too much. Anyway he needs cheering up after that disaster of a date he’s just missed.”

Jack shouted across the hub for everyone to meet him in the Conference Room. He was going to explain what he wanted them to do.

“Right kids, we have a problem but thanks to Ianto and our alien hunter on the roof earlier I do believe we can avoid a major situation.”

He went on to explain who the Vondrax were and what they would be after. It was only when he got to the part of fancy dress that any objections were voiced. And it was Owen who voiced them in the only way he could.

“No Jack, the last time you had me dressing up as Spiderman. I am not going through that humiliation again. If it’s fancy dress then I want to be the one to decide what I’m going to wear. Go that?”

“Of course Owen, no problem.”

“But Owen, Jack chose brilliant costumes for us the last time.”

“Listen tea boy, yours was brilliant, as you say, for the only reason that you two couldn’t keep your hands off one another all night and you couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel to rip each others’ clothes off. I really don’t want to have that image in my mind during this ball thank you very much!”

They all laughed at Owen’s grumpy mood and his dislike of anything to do with fancy dress.

“The charity is for the Ty Hafan Children’s Hospice and because children are involved they’ve decided to make the fancy dress all Pantomime Characters. I thought we could each go as something from different panto’s.”

“That would be great,” laughed Gwen, “I have always wanted to dress in pantomime costume. What have you got in mind for us then Jack? I know Owen could go as the back end of a Pantomime horse whilst I go as the front end!”

All but Owen burst out laughing, he looked slightly disgruntled and Hmphed at the comment.

“Well as it’s going to be well supported I’ll have to find out what there is left. If no one has any problems with that I’ll go now and see whatis out there.”

They all said they didn’t mind. Even a reluctant Owen agreed, but he said he wanted something that would get the women interested in him.

Jack left the Conference Room with Ianto and made his way to the SUV.

“Hold on a minute Jack. What do you have in mind for us this time? I don’t think there is anything that can top the one you got for me last time.”

“MmmmmI think I could find something interesting for us to wear. What do you think my love?”

“Yeah, just don’t go upsetting Owen again. Although he mellowed once we got to the ball, his Spiderman outfit really was a hit with the women.”

They both laughed at the image of Owen in his Spiderman outfit including the mask. 

“Right, let me go and make a phone call and get us the invite then I’ll go and see what I can find. How’s about you coming with me? Meet me at the SUV in 10”

Ianto got out his stop watch, pressed the button on the top and said “ten minutes and counting, Sir”

Knowing the pleasure they both got from comments like that Jack went back over to Ianto, kissed him and felt both of their reactions again as he hugged him before making an exit to his office.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Jack shouted to the three of them that he and Ianto wouldn’t be too long in their search. He’d managed to get tickets and he was going to collect them whilst they were out. Tosh and Gwen grinned and looked excited while Owen just mumbled a reply of don’t be too long, we know what you’re like when you go out together. Laughing at his comment Jack ran for the SUV and his waiting lover. Mmmm maybe he thought Owen was right, they needed a little time together to discuss their costumes or whatever came up.

They had been gone about 2 hours and Owen, Tosh and Gwen were beginning to think they wouldn’t be able to go when the pair of lovers bounded through the roller door. Grinning from ear to ear Jack shouted he’d got the costumes and to be in the Conference room a.s.a.p., but just givingIanto enough time to make them all their favourite coffee.

Owen was the first through the door and was demanding to be shown what he’d have to wear this time. Jack refused to let him see as he wanted them all to be together when they were given their bags. Tosh and Gwen appeared at the door carrying trays of Danish pastries and cookies while Ianto followed close behind with the coffee.

“Ok kids, here we go. Ianto this is yours.”

Ianto smiled, he already knew what he was wearing along with everyone else’s costumes. He couldn’t say anything otherwise it would spoil the surprise.

“Come on Jack where’s mine?” said Owen not wanting to get the shock like the last time.

“Be patient, Gwen here’s yours, Tosh this one’s for you and finally Dr Harper, unfortunately it was a choice between Little Bo Peep and this one. And we didn’t think you’d quite appreciate going as a girl!”

“Gee thanks for that Jack, so come on hand it over what is it?”

“Look before I do, you’ve got to promise not to go mad, it was all that was left and if you don’t believe me then you can ring the costume hire shop.”

“Ok, fine. Hand it over.”

Jack handed the costume bag over and Owen carefully opened it. The look on his face told his colleagues that he was not happy.

“What’s wrong Owen?” asked Gwen


“Look just tell us we won’t say anything bad about what you’re going as, we promise”

Owen looked again into the bag and then at his colleagues. “Oh all right. It’s this”

He removed the bag from around the costume and revealed the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Stiffling giggles Gwen and Tosh both nodded in agreement that he would look great.

“Ok gang, the party is tomorrow night and we need to be their early. It starts at 7.30pm so we have to make sure the Vondrax have gone before the rest of the guests arrive.”

“But you haven’t told us what you two are wearing!” exclaimed Owen.

“That’s gonna be a surprise. We don’t want to spoil it.”

“But we know Gwen is going to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Tosh is Alice in Wonderland, I’m the Beast, come on boys tell us.”

“No Owen I want it to be a surprise. Our costumes were Ianto’s idea and he wants to keep them secret till tomorrow.”

The three of them looked slightly disappointed but the girls knew that their costumes would be something that matched. They all left and took their costumes home to try on.


Jack was ready early the next night and was just waiting for Ianto to finish putting his costume on when the others came through the roller door. They had decided to get changed before they left home so there was no time wasted once they were at work. Gwen had decided to enhance her costume by getting a stuffed dog that looked like Toto and she had put a red tissue paper bow at the side of one ear. Tosh had brought a tiny bottle with the saying drink me written on the side, and Owen was nearly complete with his costume except for the mask. He hadn’t been too pleased that there was another mask, but then he remembered all the women that had wanted to remove it to see who was underneath, so he had given in and brought it with him.

“We won’t be a minute, Ianto is just finishing getting his costume on, we’ll be right out.” Shouted Jack from down in his quarters.

The others waited patiently for them and were speechless when they did appear.

Jack had on tight white brushed velvet trousers, a pale blue and silvery tunic and pale blue shoes to match. Ianto was wearing tight black brushed velvet trousers, a red and gold tunic with red shoes and he was carrying a cushion that held a glass slipper.

“Wow, you boys look fantastic” exclaimed Gwen. “We can see that Ianto is Prince Charming from Cinderella, but not sure who you are Jack?”

“Jack’s Aladdin.” Explained Ianto. “But we couldn’t find the lamp to go with his costume. So I went down to the archives and found this. I suppose it will do it looks similar to the lamp Aladdin had.”

He handed Jack an alien artefact that had been stored for numerous years. Jack thanked him and commented that they would have to be on their way otherwise they would miss all the fun.

As the two women and Owen went to get in the SUV, Jack held Ianto back.

“Mmmm, shall we leave the other three to sort out the Vondrax and you and I’ll go and undress each other and see what stories we can create?”

“No Jack, they would never forgive us if we did that. Anyway we will have the rest of the night once we get back from City Hall to make up as many stories as you want!”

Grinning and holding on to Ianto’s hand the pair of them went to find the others.

Owen had decided to try on his mask and was just explaining to Gwen and Tosh that it wasn’t so bad when he screamed.

“Owen what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“Jack, someone please help me?”

“Why what’s happening?”

“Aaaghr, someone just get this thing off me! It’s itching me like mad and I don’t want to have any blemishes otherwise the beautiful women who attend these balls won’t want to talk to me.”

They all rushed to help him off with the mask and as they removed it they were grinning.

“Hey what’s so funny, it was horrible in there”

“Oh don’t worry Owen you’re still as handsome without the mask as you are with it. They ladies will be swarming around you.” Giggled Gwen.

They all laughed at the look on Owens face, not really knowing which way to take that comment.

“Ok kids, we must be going, Owen just forget the mask you don’t have to wear it. Let’s just go, enjoy the ball and get rid of the Vondrax before they do any damage.”

Jack squeezed Ianto around the waist and said “just remember all the stories we can tell when we get home!”

Ianto kissed his Captain and smiled knowing what fun they would be having later on.


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