Title: Babysitting Duteis
Rating: R, adult themes, occasional language,
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Owen
Spoilers: None that I know of
Summary: What happens when aliens go on holiday.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to RTD and the BBC. I am just experimenting with them....
Written for the longliveianto bingo: Babies first holiday
“Aaargh Owen, do you mind? I’ve had enough of their biting and scratching. What are they doing here in the first place?”
“Sorry Gwen, it’s just that these aliens think its fun to holiday on Earth once every ten years and now is their time. Jack told me about them a couple of years ago and said that we were due for a visit from them. But he didn’t tell me how hyperactive they were. Watch out Tosh there’s one behind you.”
The team had been out all morning rounding up the Rotut aliens that had arrived in the early hours of the day. Jack had warned them that they were lively but they didn’t really believe him. They’d caught most of them and caged them up ready to send them back through the rift once it opened up again. They were rounding the last half a dozen up when they heard Jack laugh through the comms.
Owen tapped his comms “What’s up Jack?”
“Sorry kids I’ve just seen Ianto running down an alley chasing a Rotut with one clinging tightly to his back. It looks like Yan’s giving the smaller one a piggy back ride.”
The team all laughed at the image they had of Ianto.
“Hey thanks guys, you wanna come and give me a hand here? I’m having one or two problems.”
“Sounds as though you are playing with them tea boy rather than trying to capture them.”
“Thanks Owen, decaffeinated coffee for you when we get back if you don’t come and give me a hand?”
Owen growled at the mention of decaf and swiftly went to help Ianto.
Finally after five hours of chasing the Rotut around Cardiff they had them all in a cage and Tosh took out her PDA with the co-ordinates of the rift activity she’d monitored in the early hours. Carefully checking that she’d got all the figures right she punched in the last two and it flashed up that the rift would be opening up in the next hour. They decided that there wasn’t enough time to go back to the hub so they put the cage into the back of the SUV and drove to the site of the rift.
Arriving back at the Hub after saying goodbye to the Rotut the team were exhausted. Ianto went to put the coffee on while Tosh offered to go for pastries. They all needed something sweet after the long morning they’d had.
Jack had asked them to meet in the conference room to discuss ways of trying to keep these hyper aliens under surveillance. Now they had more complex equipment and with Tosh’s help in writing programmes surely they could monitor when they next came through the rift.
“Jack that’s not going to be so easy. Think about this, if I write a programme, it’s going to be at least ten years before we know if it works. I can’t be sure in such a long space of time that it will work.”
“I know what you’re saying Tosh, but we have to do something in preparation. I don’t want our time wasted just because a family or two of Rotut’s fancy a holiday on Earth. Start thinking what could be done and we’ll take it from there. I know ten years is a long time, but we need to be ready just in case they fancy a quick turn around.”
The team looked at him and groaned. Ianto, he noticed, had a lovely scratch down the side of his face. The one on his back must have clung on tight to cause such a deep laceration, but as Jack watched his young Welshman he could see that it was healing nicely and would be gone within the next half hour or so.
“Hey Jack, how about I go and get us some take away, I think we could all do with some more food. We’ve forgone breakfast chasing after those pesky creatures.”
“Sounds like a good idea. Take the SUV it’ll be quicker that way and the food will be hotter.”
Ianto took the keys from Jack, kissed his forehead and left to the sounds of Owen being snarky again. “Please Ianto, if we’re eating we don’t want to see you two doing things like that.”
Jack threw a balled up piece of paper at Owen and laughed at the sour look on his face. “You’re only jealous Owen, jealous that the kiss wasn’t for you!”
The girls who had been taking a drink of coffee laughed spitting the coffee all over the table and coughing as they noticed the look on Owens face.
Ianto was on his way to their favourite Chinese Takeaway when he heard a strange noise in the back of the SUV. He knew they’d emptied the cage of the Rotut, so what had gotten in the back now. He couldn’t be bothered to stop he was hungry and he knew the rest of the team were.
As he was on the way back to the Hub he heard the noise again, louder this time. Oh it will have to wait, it’s probably a cat that’s jumped in when we weren’t looking. As he pulled up in the garage and went to retrieve the food he saw movement from behind the back seat. Slowly, putting the food on the bonnet of the vehicle he crept around to the back door, he tried to be quiet opening the door but the sheer weight of it wouldn’t allow him to. Once the door was opened he found himself staring into the eyes of a baby Rotut. Oh no not another one. I’ve had enough of them to last me for the next ten years. Without warning the baby jumped at Ianto and clung to his neck. Groaning Ianto closed the back door, retrieved their food from the bonnet and went through to the hub.
“Hey Yan, what took you so long?”
“Thank goodness your back, I was beginning to think I’d starve to death.”
“Well here comes tea boy finally, my stomach thinks my throats been cut.”
“Jack, Gwen, Owen, Tosh, you’d better come here there’s something you need to see.”
“Stop fooling Yan, get your cute arse up here with our food.”
“Jack, I mean it you’d better come down here and see what I’ve found.”
His four colleagues were curious, what was he up to? Surely he’d got their food right,Ianto never got an order wrong. Something must be amiss.
They arrived at the roller door together. Stopping in their tracks at the sight of a normally very smart young man, looking very dishevelled with a tiny creature attached to his neck.
“I know we’re hungry Yan, but you needn’t to have gone out to catch our food.”
“Oh very funny Jack, now will someone please get this thing off me. It’s beginning to dig its claws into my neck.”
“Don’t worry Ianto you’ll survive. It won’t kill you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence Gwen, just someone get this thing the hell off me….please!”
Owen took the parcel of food from Ianto, who glared at him in disgust for not taking the creature. Jack smiling, went and tried to prise the creature from his lover. Without much success. Although he know Ianto would survive he didn’t want to pull too hard, he knew it would hurt.
“Jack, come on hurry up please. It’s beginning to hurt like hell. I’m sure he’d like you as much as me. Jack….PLEASE!”
The others by this time were grinning at the site of Jack trying to remove the creature from Ianto’s neck and Ianto screaming in pain as the Rotut dug it’s claws in deeper. Suddenly the creature stopped fighting Jack and started to lick Ianto’s neck. Before they knew the Rotut was asleep and Ianto lifted it away from him and placed it on the desk.
“What the hell was that all about?”
“Erm you tell me Jack, you’re the expert with these creatures, you’re the one that’s seen them before. What’s with the drinking and then the sleeping?”
“Not sure Ianto, not come across that before, maybe he’s fallen in love with you. I know I have.”
“Oh pleeease boys, come on I’m getting fed up with you two now. Maybe it was hungry and liked the taste of our tea boy here.”
“Owen, you’re jealous, pure and simple. What’s not to love about our Ianto?”
They all laughed except Owen who grumbled and went to eat his Chinese. If the others weren’t hungry he certainly was and he didn’t like cold food.
“Owen, before you disappear we need to find out why this Rotut reacted this way to Yan’s blood.”
“But Jack….the foods going cold and I’m starving.”
“Forget the food, this is more important. Firstly we need to know why it didn’t get sent back with the rest of them, secondly why it’s reacted this way to the blood and thirdly how we’re going to get it back to its family without bringing more of them back through.”
Owen muttered something under his breath which the others couldn’t quite hear. But did as he was told and went to get the Bekeran Deep Tissue Scanner. Maybe that would throw up some answers.
The creature moved and the four of them took a step back. They didn’t want to be the next victim and Ianto was still smarting after his first meal.
Tosh noticed something attached to the foot of the creature. Carefully she went to remove it. It looked like a tiny computer chip. Reaching for her PDA she inserted the chip into the SD slot and a message appeared on the screen.
“Hey guys look at this.”
On the screen for all to see was the message “Thanks for the great holiday, we need you to look after our son for a couple of days, we need a break. He’s really hyperactive and we thought you could look after him. We’ll be back to pick him up later.”
“Oh great” commented Ianto, “just what I need.”
By this time Owen had returned with the scanner and was grinning at the conversation he’d just overheard. “Looks like you’ll be babysitting for the next couple of days then tea boy!”
Ianto glared at Owen as he looked at the read out of the scanner.
“Erm….Jack….you should look at this.”
“That blood that our friend here drank is what put him to sleep but it’s what is also keeping him alive. If he doesn’t get more then we are going to lose him and I really don’t want to suffer the wrath of its parents when they find out we killed their son.”
“Oh great! Does that mean that I’m a walking deli then?”
“’fraid so Ianto. Unless….unless”
“Unless Jack helps you out. Think about it. You’re both the same now, you know bang you’re dead….oh sorry no you’re not.”
They all looked at Owen, who grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
“Gee thanks for that, I’m sure we can think of something else to give it rather than let it feed off our necks. Hey….I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you take some of our blood keep it in storage and then when junior here is hungry we can give him that instead of him taking a bite out of us.”
“That might work, I’ll go and get the needles, who’s first?”
“I’ll go first seeing as though Yan here was breakfast. I don’t think he’s ready for being lunch.”
The Rotut began to wake up. Ianto visibly shuddered and stepped back just in case the creature remembered him and wanted to have another go at his neck. He could still feel the claws digging down deep.
Gwen who saw the creature move quickly grabbed the cage they’d brought back from the morning’s foray and put it over the Rotut.
It woke up and started to make a strange noise. Putting their hands over their ears because it was high pitched and loud they all retreated to the conference room.
“Ok, so how’re we going to get our friend back to its own planet? I suggest that Jack and Ianto volunteer and go to the co-ordinates we sent the others back to.”
“It might work, but what happens if his parents come back and find he’s gone. Look, the only thing we can do is keep him here, show him Cardiff and give him a good time.”
They all looked at Jack and groaned. But he did have a point. If they were careful and fed junior at the right times then they shouldn’t have too many problems. Ianto glared at Jack, but he returned the look with those puppy dog eyes that always melted Ianto. He could feel the stirrings in his groin and pulled the chair further underneath the table before the others saw. Jack knew he’d had the desired effect on his lover and smiled at him.
“Ok….ok Jack I’m game if you are. Owen is not just taking my blood, he can take yours too. Then we….we Jack will take him for a trip around the bay. That should keep him out of mischief.”
“Mmmm, but we can get up to mischief later can’t we?” Smiled Jack and melting Ianto again with his puppy dog eyes.
“Alright, but only when we get rid of junior here.”
The team laughed and Owen took blood from both Jack and Ianto, making sure there was enough for the rest of the day. Jack had asked Tosh to get the co-ordinates of the rift again as by the time the day was over they wouldn’t have the energy to continue babysitting let alone any other mischief they wanted to get up to.
Jack had sent the others home to rest for the remainder of the day. They’d all worked really hard with the Rotut’s and he didn’t want them suffering the following day. He and Ianto had taken junior out to the bay and much to the surprise of both of them his parents turned up. They’d decided that although he was a handful they couldn’t live without him. They thanked the pair of them for looking after him and reminded Jack that they would be back in ten years’ time, so watch out!
Ianto invited Jack back to his flat that night and promised to cook him something special as they had missed their meal this morning. By the time they’d finished sorting the blood out for junior the meal was cold and they hated cold food. Ianto cooked Jack a meal and sitting on the sofa they realised they were exhausted.
“I’m not going to be able to keep my eyes open much longer Cariad, I don’t mind babysitting but wouldn’t want to look after junior for any length of time.”
“Mmmm in that case my love, let me take you to bed.”
“That’s the best offer I’ve had all day. What’re we waiting for?”
Jack stood, took Ianto’s hands in his and led him to the bedroom. Tenderly Jack made love to his gorgeous Welshman and afterwards both drifted off into a peaceful, love filled sleep.